WOW!! 
Thanks Mister Meister, that's the way to help your forums brethren, and us sistas too!
This thread will be moved, and made sticky, in the Problems / Dealer Service Forum...
Anyone that has updates, please post them there and Meister or I can update his original list as needed.
Of course, the bar has been set pretty high by ResumeSpeed and his TSB list, but we'll do our best
To render this thread even more user-friendly:
How to Check For Diagnostic Codes
courtesy of glhs837 
Notes
-"ON" is just far enough to turn on all warning lights, but not enough to start
-"Off" is just far enough back to turn those off
-This should be done quickly, maybe 3-5 seconds for the turns, with doors closed:
1. Insert key
2. Rotate key to ON
3. Rotate key OFF
4. On
5. Off
6. ON