well my chariot is packed
and now all I await is that air traffic control ground all of you grubby Americanians so that I can travel in the manner that I deserve and then
In preperation of my visit I have decided that 'when in Rome do as the Romans do' and to that end I have done a crash course in American etiquette.
To make sure that I fit in I have purchased an economy vehicle (hired is just so common)
and I have also elected to take the free fuel option
I have closely studied American food
and I am looking forward to visiting one of your "fast food restaurants"
Hopefully I will have left your Godforsaken wastelands before the effects take hold of me
As part of trip entails rest periods of up to 10 minutes at a time I have gone to the trouble of purchasing some relevant reading matter. I have bought "The history of the United States" (pmsl at that) which should take me about 5 minutes cover to cover, as well as 50 great Canadians - sadly when I opened the book it was empty.
To make sure that I fully fit in I have opened 25 credit cards and i am now $250000 dollars in debt. It is a good job that your funny money is worth about as much as
because otherwise I might have to sell one of my (many) country estates.
I am so pleased with my attempts to blend in so far that I enclose a copy of the final picture that Lord Lichfield took of me before passing away. I can now reveal that his final words were "bloody helll Murphy, you look so stupid and ridiculous that you'll fit straight in"
And that's it for this evening gentleman - i'm now going to supervise the flogging of some peasants.
Murphy The Cat
oh just one final thing - I've looked everywhere for the final thing to help me blend in with real Americanians - but i've not been able to find a redneck to buy anywhere
Chocks away pilot & Tally Ho