Stan, HEMEEE's right! Seek professional help. Now.
uh .. I happen to be a certified Hemiholic counsellor. I will set up an appointment with you.
Bring your car. 1st step to recovery is to remove all the mods. I'll even do this part for you.

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[“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
.
.
but by the moments that take our breath away”