Guy has a sense of humor. Funny read.
Crown
Merge onto a California freeway in a plain-wrapper Crown Vic, and all eyes are on you. FBI? ATF? INS? You wouldn't get more attention driving a stretched Hummer with Heidi Klum sticking out of the sunroof (also a familiar sight around L.A.).
It seems as if the only people who pilot a Crown Victoria hunt terrorists, illegal aliens, or alien UFOs
When the Vicky is pushed hard, they roll over on their sidewalls and chaos ensues. The front end wants to plow; the back end wants to slide; you want to slow down. The car slithered through the lane change without the aid of an anti-skid system and with its tush all a-wag, setting the slowest speed of 54.3 mph. For rum runners and the heroes of Daytona—circa 1954—the Crown Vic's behavior will wet the eyes with nostalgia.
Bonneville
The buttons and the air vents (eight, and about a billion buttons) are staging a riot on the dashboard.
Pontiac has done this before: built dashboards seemingly from melted air-traffic-control consoles
A mosquito in a nudist colony doesn't get this busy.
Data from the various dials and readouts are more or less visible through the portals of the huge steering wheel, which is big enough to serve as a second spare.
It stutters the brakes just enough to rotate the Bonneville back to course, a better safety strategy than a bag full of airbags.
The C
A thick, leather-wrapped steering-wheel rim feels substantial, serious, even with its whimsical "tortoise shell" accent (which looks like sea scallops afloat in Aunt Jemima, only better). Fake tortoises also donated fake shells to the pulls on the door panels, which despite an additional chrome sash still look a little dowdy.
Jaded John Q. can't get enough of that Elvis-era grille
On the skidpad, lateral g and high slip angles are an aphrodisiac to the yaw sensors, so the Chrysler herked and jerked its way to a 0.76-g performance, the lowest of the group
Grunt, grip, attitude, and comfort. Until there's a serious contender, Chrysler owns the Detroit franchise on all of it.
08-14-2004, 08:55 AM
Linear Mode
