01-17-2013, 12:22 PM
Car: 2006 Chrysler SRT8
Join Date: Apr 2007
Member Number: 11602
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Report on Crow Mortality
Friends, with all of todays news casters telling us about the flu epidemic and the hundreds who may die, a story has come to light that one cannot possibly make up.
It is not a pretty story.... it concerns over 200 dead Crows being found on the highways around Boston.
Feeling that the Federal Bird Pathologist’s explanation was not detailed enough, the City then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to study and determine the cause of the disproportionate percentages of Crows killed by trucks, versus car kills.
The Ornithological Behaviorist study took 6 months at a cost of $200,000 to the tax payers. This is the conclusions drawn in his report:
- The first report came from the City Health Dept. was that the birds probably died of Avian Flu. . . the City was in panic mode.
- Then a Federal Bird Pathologist was brought in to examine the remains of all the crows, and he confirmed that the “kill” was definitely NOT the Avian Flu, to everyone's relief.
- However, he determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, and only 2% were killed by car impact.
- Crows often eat road-kill or matter found on the roadways.
- When the crows are eating on the roads, they always post a "look-out crow" in a nearby tree, to warn of impending danger.
- The Ornithological Behaviorist's conclusion was that the lookout crow could only say "Cah", but could not say "Truck”.
2006 300C SRT8