Thank You Dear Friends!

[Rambit]

I get e-mail...


My dear Friends,

You are all special to me and I appreciate and love each and everyone of you!!!

But especially, my heartfelt thanks goes out to all those who have taken their time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.

• Extra thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal an envelope.
• Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
• Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
• I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.
• I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
• I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be *****ed with a needle infected with AIDS.
• I no longer use deodorant! Since it causes cancer, even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
• I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
• I no longer receive packages from nor send packages by UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
• I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
• I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
• I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.
• I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
• I no longer worry about my soul because at last count I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.
• Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
• I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).
• I no longer have any money at all - but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating ! in their special email program.
• Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favor...!

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM (CDT) this afternoon. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

Rambit

[Cdnhemi]

Originally Posted by Rambit

I get e-mail...


My dear Friends,

You are all special to me and I appreciate and love each and everyone of you!!!

But especially, my heartfelt thanks goes out to all those who have taken their time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.

• Extra thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal an envelope.
• Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
• Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
• I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.
• I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
• I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be *****ed with a needle infected with AIDS.
• I no longer use deodorant! Since it causes cancer, even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
• I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
• I no longer receive packages from nor send packages by UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
• I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
• I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
• I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.
• I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
• I no longer worry about my soul because at last count I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.
• Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
• I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).
• I no longer have any money at all - but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating ! in their special email program.
• Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favor...!

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM (CDT) this afternoon. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

Rambit

Man, you got to get a job!!! You know that Walmart greeter job I offered you in Calgary er Edmonton? I think you are over qualified and besides I don't think Ralphie wants you in Alberta..... Sorry!!!!

[OoTLink]

XD This thread pwns. As always, sir rambit. Uh... How'd you afford to pay for your car again? I know I don't really do anything, but you've got an SRT8!

[srt8danno]

Originally Posted by Rambit

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM (CDT) this afternoon.

Rambit

OK, DONE!!

[lmhoward]

Sentence served. But why was mine served up by a flock?

[ChrischiOVP]

Originally Posted by srt8danno

OK, DONE!!

Haha... Well done...

btw: this thread reminds me of lost night, that i spended with surfing on website, that wants to break the chain. (breakthechain.org - hopefully it isn´t forbidden to give this hint)

Greets

Christian

[DUBSTER]

You silly Rambit. Did'nt you know he is a millionare!!!!!

[MrHappy]

Originally Posted by srt8danno

OK, DONE!!

Sending it to me 144,000 times doesn't count!?!?

[srt8danno]

Originally Posted by MrHappy

Sending it to me 144,000 times doesn't count!?!?

But Mr. Happy it said that if I did it would bring special blessings of love, happiness and luck to your household. (Chinese Cookie kind of saying you know) Since we’ve all be pulling for you to get your new SRT8 right away I figured it couldn’t hurt.

BTW…in the middle of all those 144,000 posts were some hot pics Dubster sent me….they were to help give you the strength to endure never ending BS! I hope you got them and they weren't crushed under all those posts.....would hate to have smashed boobs.

[MrHappy]

would hate to have smashed boobs

Not if they're smashed in your face!