NWS, maybe offensive to some....Kentucky pick-up lines

[pmpn8ez]

1) Did you fart?
cuz you blew me away.

2) Are yer parents retarded?
cuz ya sure are special.

3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea.
I can't hold it in.

4) Do you have a library card?
cuz I'd like to sign you out.

5) Is there a mirror in yer pants?
cuz I can see myself in em .

6) If you was a tree and I were a Squirrel ,
I'd store my nuts in yer hole.

7) You might not be the best lookin girl here,
but beauty's only a light switch away.

8) Man - "Fat Penguin!"
Woman - "WHAT?"
Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."

9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone,
but I bet I can make yer " bed-rock."

10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him?
I think he went inta this cheap motel room.

11) Yer eyes are as blue & pretty as window cleaner.

12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin,
we kin sleep til afternoon.

13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench,.......................every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.

[Spittin Game]

haha, good stuff!

[DUBSTER]

Hillarious!!!

[PHAT_HEMI]

hahahahaha

[JMatt]

THREE BIGGEST LIES TOLD IN KENTUCKY:

#3) I didn't know she was my sister

#2) The truck's paid for

#1) I was just helping the sheep over the fence

[lukeinva]

Those were funny!!! I liked the laws also!

[Spittin Game]

Ultimatecarman, those were great! Haha.

[italianguy63]

What does a Kentucky woman say during sex?

"Daddy, get off me you're crushin' my cigarettes!"

[srt8danno]

A guy from Kentucky passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14.


How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky hotel? When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink," and the clerk replies, "Go ahead."


How can you tell if a Kentucky redneck is married? There's dried tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck


Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Kentucky to 32? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.


What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Kentucky? Documentaries.

Where was the toothbrush invented? Kentucky. If it had been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teeth brush.


A Kentucky State trooper pulls over a pickup on I-64 and says to the driver, "Got any I.D.?" and the driver replies "Bout wut?"


Did you hear about the $3 million Kentucky State Lottery? (Come on- this is funny!) The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.


The governor's mansion in Kentucky burned down! Yep, pret' near took out the whole trailer park. The library was a total loss too. Both books-poof-up in flames and he hadn't even finished coloring one of them.


A new law was recently passed in Kentucky. When a couple gets divorced, they're STILL cousins