Well, I may have been a little hasty on the Spandex thing. Seems as though that was yet another urban legend. After a great deal of research, this is how it really happened...
Morely Handowacker, a very large and overweight Canadian by coincidence, was a part time night janitor, employed in a large multi-national company "somewhere" in Ontario. His nick name was Mississippi Fat Back Morley. His nightly chores included washing the walls & windows in the lobby. Yes, he did walls! He was a little strange, preferring to work butt naked. It was cooler he said.
Seeing as it was around 2AM and being a little tired after working long hours at his other job, a bicycle spoke tightener, he inadvertly dropped the Windex bottle into the bucket containing the **** and Span solution.
Within seconds there was a lot of chemical reaction going on which spilled onto the floor. Morely, in all the excitment slipped on the stuff which instantly covered him from head to toe. He screamed, thinking he was going to die, ran out of the building, jumped on his bike and rode home as quick as he could.
When he got home, to his amasement, he hadn't died at all, but was covered with a tight fitting fabric that felt really comfortable and cool. Then he thought about the trip home and how he seemed to cut the wind so much better. Then he looked at his butt. It was as if he had nothing on at all being as it was so form fitting. Those cute dimples looked damned good to him.
Morely realized instantly he had come on to something of extreme importance here. The rest is history. Morely soon retired, but no one knows where he lives. The next guy you see riding a bike, wearing spandex could very well be Morley. Give a shout out to him if you see him in your town. Ya never know, it could he him!!!
That's how it apparently really happened.
Bernie