Chrysler 300C & SRT8 Forums banner

1 - 20 of 25 Posts

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
1,013 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I like driving my car, no sorry, let me rephrase that, I love driving my car, but one or two little things make me wonder about what goes through the minds of car designers.

In this case it's the mystery of the mabye missing "Bong".

My car "bongs" at me for everything. Here's a few.

Headlights on
Door ajar
Key in ignition
Waiting for engine preheat (it's a diesel thing)
memory seat in position
etc etc and I'm sur that there is a lot more.

But I think that I may have a Bong that's Gone Wrong, or it may even be the case of "Where is the Missing Bong".

On other "Bong" happy cars that I have driven (All American, funnily enough) I have always enjoyed the sweet, sweet sound of Mr Bong informing me of the fuel tank needing a top up.

As I have already mentioned (once or twice) Arnie only takes sips from the black pump and his fuel tank range is about the 600 mile mark.
But my fuel guage is getting very low, Mr EVIC tells me that I've only got 50 miles of fuel left, but so far He that goes "Bong" is "Bong free" by his lack of "Bonging".

So my dear friends I wonder if you could help be in my search for the sound that I shall call the low fuel "Bong".
Is there a low fuel "Bong" ?
At what stage (miles to go) does the "Bongster" go "Bong"
Is it the traditional "Bong" or the more contemporary "Bong Bong".

Your answers are eagerly anticipated.

Alternatively, I could always put a gal of "Arnie Brew No1" in my boot and drive until Arnie goes "splutter, splutter, pah". But running out of fuel in a diesel is not particularly a happy event - especially when you awfully helpful North American types may have the answer.

MTC
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
709 Posts
dunno about yours... But Siliva BONGS at me, just before I ran out of gas. BONGED at me when fuel was getting low, and she said 75 miles left before empty.

So I gunned her (140 MPH), and sure enough 30 miles later I was coasting into a gas station on sheer will. she loves me like that though.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
2,239 Posts
Bongs and driving don't mix:biggrin: There's a time and place for everything, Murphy!

Seriously though - - I have no idea if my car has a "chime" for low fuel, it is a very bad idea to run the tank that low, because that is where all the sediment and contaminants will be, and I don't want my fuel pump having to suck all that stuff through. Obviously this is a bigger issue as a car gets older, and I also realize yours is a diesel but I would think it would still apply.

I never go below 1/4 tank!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
69 Posts
kevenj said:
Bongs and driving don't mix:biggrin: There's a time and place for everything, Murphy!

Seriously though - - I have no idea if my car has a "chime" for low fuel, it is a very bad idea to run the tank that low, because that is where all the sediment and contaminants will be, and I don't want my fuel pump having to suck all that stuff through. Obviously this is a bigger issue as a car gets older, and I also realize yours is a diesel but I would think it would still apply.

I never go below 1/4 tank!
If you run dry in a diesel you are in for some very fun stuff, last time it happened to me it took a LOT of time and money to get the car back to full working order. It's not like a petrol car were you just fill up the tank and need some electrics power to get back on the road, you could be looking at a lot of work.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,044 Posts
Murphy The Cat said:
As I have already mentioned (once or twice) Arnie only takes sips from the black pump and his fuel tank range is about the 600 mile mark.
MTC
is it just me...
or is everyone else COMPLETELY envious of getting 600 miles per tank!!!
that's 3 fills up here for me @ $45.00 - $50.00 a pop...
jealously thinking of your fuel mileage, but not your pump prices...
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
1,013 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
mathijskok said:
If you run dry in a diesel you are in for some very fun stuff, last time it happened to me it took a LOT of time and money to get the car back to full working order. It's not like a petrol car were you just fill up the tank and need some electrics power to get back on the road, you could be looking at a lot of work.
You're absolutely right about it being a bad idea to run out of diesel, but here is my thinking - I know that I can get 600 miles from a tank, but if I do a lot of urban driving it may drop down to 550 miles (so I can't rely on that method).

The fuel gauge - well it's early days yet, but most fuel gauges drop veeeerrrrryyyy slowly for the first bit, then weeeeeeeeeeee for the last bit (you know the but that goes red), but again with only 1700 miles on Arnie I don't know how accurrate the guage is.

The mileage to go trip computer - hmmm. If you give the boy a pasting yje miles to go bombs it. If you're on a long down hill, it increases rapidly. Again
not accurate enough to rely on.

Mr "Bongarama" was hopefully going to be my "last chance saloon, you're about to run out of diesel you numpty" warning. But so far I'm "Bongless" and the miles to go computer says 50 miles.

So far Ahbizmal has told me that Silvia gives him a good "bonging" with 75 miles to go. Does anyone else have some fuel/"Bing" related experiences that they would like to share with the group. Of course, all answers would be in confidence (yeah right).

MTC


p.s. mathijskok, were the air con / heater / wiper scans of use to you that I posted the other day ?
 

·
Administrator
Joined
·
14,572 Posts
Fear not, precious little sad muppet cat shaped little thing. Rambit here to the rescue, AGAIN!

I feel for you. I REALLY feel for you! I have at my disposal some very simple instructions where you, at the end of this project, you will construct your very own personalized BONG.

2 LITRE BONG - LIST OF SUPPLIES

1. Empty 2 litre beer bottle
2. Small sheet of tin foil
3. 1 thumb (yours will do)
4. 1 pin or other sharp object
5. 1 BIC pen
6. 2 Aspirin

2 LITRE BONG - INSTRUCTIONS

1. Take one empty 2 liter bottle (without cap).
2. Place a small sheet of tin foil over the top of the bottle.
3. Push your thumb down on the foil (pushing it through the top untill your thumb is about half way in the bottle.
4. Fold the remaining foil around the bottle.
5. Take a pin or small sharp object and poke little holes in the tin foil (not to big or the pot will fall through).
6. Now get something like a bic pen and take it apart. Take the hollow shell of the pen.
7. OK, make a hole mid way down the bottle just big enough to fit the pen in.

ALUMINUM CAN BONG - LIST OF SUPPLIES

1. Aluminum can - go figure
2. Swiss Army Knife
3. 2 Aspirin

ALUMINUM CAN BONG - INSTRUCTIONS

1. Make a cup shaped dent in the side of the can (towards the back)
2. Make little holes in the dent using the Swiss Army Knife

INSTRUCTIONS - USING YOUR BONG

This technique works for both bongs.

1. Observe fuel indicator needle in cluster.
2. When needle enters the red area, take either bong in right hand (your choice).
3. Count to 100 (one one hundred, two one hundred...).
4. Smash bong (of your choice) into right temporal area of your head.
5. Yell as loud as possible "BONG"
6. Pull over to nearest service station.
7. Fill with fuel.
8. When finished, secure cap, pay for fuel and go on about your business.
9. When arriving to your destination, take the 2 Aspirin you didn't use in both examples for the splitting headache you gave yourself.

Hope this helps. If you need further advice, don't hesitate to ask.

Rambit
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
1,013 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 · (Edited)
Rambit said:
Fear not, precious little sad muppet cat shaped little thing. Rambit here to the rescue, AGAIN!

I feel for you. I REALLY feel for you! I have at my disposal some very simple instructions where you, at the end of this project, you will construct your very own personalized BONG.

2 LITRE BONG - LIST OF SUPPLIES

1. Empty 2 litre beer bottle
2. Small sheet of tin foil
3. 1 thumb (yours will do)
4. 1 pin or other sharp object
5. 1 BIC pen

2 LITRE BONG - INSTRUCTIONS

1. Take one empty 2 liter bottle (without cap).
2. Place a small sheet of tin foil over the top of the bottle.
3. Push your thumb down on the foil (pushing it through the top untill your thumb is about half way in the bottle.
4. Fold the remaining foil around the bottle.
5. Take a pin or small sharp object and poke little holes in the tin foil (not to big or the pot will fall through).
6. Now get something like a bic pen and take it apart. Take the hollow shell of the pen.
7. OK, make a hole mid way down the bottle just big enough to fit the pen in.

ALUMINUM CAN BONG - LIST OF SUPPLIES

1. Aluminum can - go figure
2. Swiss Army Knife

ALUMINUM CAN BONG - INSTRUCTIONS

Oh dear Rambit,

your post has got all mixed up in the Canadian to English translation.

I'm sorry, but I haven't got a clue what I am supposed to be making.

MTC
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
1,013 Posts
Discussion Starter · #9 ·
King Kong by Bongs gone Dong

Good evening Sportsfans around the globe, here's the latest news about the "Bongmeister".

At a little under 33 miles showing on the EVIC, and the Fuel gauge scraping empty, the Star Spangled Bongster made an appearence with a brief but emphatic "Bong".

Wow what a relief for me.

So, with the sound of Long Bong Silver resonating in my ear, I decided to give a healthy portion of my wage to the government - & then it all got a bit odd.

Just to recap, the fuel gauge is lower than a snakes backside, the EVIC is showing 33 miles before breakdown, expensive refuelling & ridicule, The Texan Long Bong has given me his "your about to run out of fuel" "Bong".
So I plug the Black nozzle into Arnies orifice and start to fill his 78 lt tank, after not to long at all, the pump clicks off and Arnie's full again - but all i could get in was 67 Lt.

So whats going on here, is it
a) crap fuel gauge,
b) crap evic
c) lazy King Bong or
d) actually not a 78 lt tank and infact something smaller or
e) done this way because DC know that knob cheeses always leave it to late to fuel up and at least this way they won't run out.

Your answers on the back of a postcard to the usual address please.

MTC
 

·
Administrator
Joined
·
14,572 Posts
Murphy The Cat said:
Oh dear Rambit,

your post has got all mixed up in the Canadian to english translation.

I'm sorry, but I haven't got a clue what I am supposed to be making.

MTC
Something strange just happened. It got posted BEFORE I completed the FULL instructions...please re-read.

Rambit
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
264 Posts
Rambit said:
This technique works for both bongs.

1. Observe fuel indicator needle in cluster.
2. When needle enters the red area, take either bong in right hand (your choice).
3. Count to 100 (one one hundred, two one hundred...).
4. Smash bong (of your choice) into right temporal area of your head.
5. Yell as loud as possible "BONG"
6. Pull over to nearest service station.
7. Fill with fuel.
8. When finished, secure cap, pay for fuel and go on about your business.
9. When arriving to your destination, take the 2 Aspirin you didn't use in both examples for the splitting headache you gave yourself.

Hope this helps. If you need further advice, don't hesitate to ask.

Rambit
This is just to funny.....:haha:


Murphy The Cat said:
Oh dear Rambit,

your post has got all mixed up in the Canadian to English translation.

I'm sorry, but I haven't got a clue what I am supposed to be making.

MTC
http://images.google.ca/images?svnum=10&hl=en&lr=&q=bong
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
264 Posts
Murphy The Cat said:
So I plug the Black nozzle into Arnies orifice and start to fill his 78 lt tank, after not to long at all, the pump clicks off and Arnie's full again - but all i could get in was 67 Lt.

MTC

My guess, reserve tank or something along those lines ?
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
4,470 Posts
First, I had an Audi 5000 Turbo diesel way back when and once ran out of fuel, came VERY close another time. However, I had not "tribble atall" refilling and restarting vs. the warnings given above (I am not saying the potential for problems isn't there - just that in my circumstances those worries didn't come to fruition).

Second, on my other Chrysler product ('94 T&C minivan) the fuel indicator Bongs at the last quarter tank, at which the electronic display switches from full scale, to 1/4 tank = full scale and an indicator light comes on. I haven't bothered to note "how far to empty" - that's a reading my wife puts a lot of faith in, but I don't. The fuel level continues to drop and at 1/8 tank remaining there is another BONG... maybe it's louder, but I doubt it. That is the last warning.

I have taken the tank down to 2 bars remaining on the final scale and refilled with issue (gas engine). But frankly I've had my 300C down to and maybe slightly into the "red" zone, but the most I've put in as been 17 gal (really trying to "stuff" it via top-off) and more generally it takes 16 gal. Manual lists the tank as an 18 gal capacity... so I expect that I was within 20-35 miles of being left stranded along the road.
 

·
Administrator
Joined
·
14,572 Posts
Murphy The Cat said:
So I plug the Black nozzle into Arnies orifice and start to fill his...
BIG mistake Murph. NEVER attempt to stick black nozzles into Arnies, or anyone elses orifice unless permission is granted. You need councilling.

Rambit
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
188 Posts
Murphy The Cat said:
Good evening Sportsfans around the globe, here's the latest news about the "Bongmeister".

At a little under 33 miles showing on the EVIC, and the Fuel gauge scraping empty, the Star Spangled Bongster made an appearence with a brief but emphatic "Bong".

Wow what a relief for me.

So, with the sound of Long Bong Silver resonating in my ear, I decided to give a healthy portion of my wage to the government - & then it all got a bit odd.

Just to recap, the fuel gauge is lower than a snakes backside, the EVIC is showing 33 miles before breakdown, expensive refuelling & ridicule, The Texan Long Bong has given me his "your about to run out of fuel" "Bong".
So I plug the Black nozzle into Arnies orifice and start to fill his 78 lt tank, after not to long at all, the pump clicks off and Arnie's full again - but all i could get in was 67 Lt.

So whats going on here, is it
a) crap fuel gauge,
b) crap evic
c) lazy King Bong or
d) actually not a 78 lt tank and infact something smaller or
e) done this way because DC know that knob cheeses always leave it to late to fuel up and at least this way they won't run out.

Your answers on the back of a postcard to the usual address please.

MTC
Hi MTC
The Chrysler website shows the fuel tank capacity as 71 ltrs.......:pat:

So you would be about right at 33 miles left for 4 litres!

Just
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
2,106 Posts
71 liters, sure. But that doesn't mean that there might have been a little gas (from the gas foaming) and it set off the auto shutoff on the pump.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
1,013 Posts
Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Just said:
Hi MTC
The Chrysler website shows the fuel tank capacity as 71 ltrs.......:pat:

So you would be about right at 33 miles left for 4 litres!

Just
Cheers Just & OotLink

you've found the answer and I think that you're both right.
Chrysler US says 19 US gal (71.92 lt)
Chrysler UK says 71 lt
My owners manual says 78 lt, so it looks like the manual has a typo in it.

The good news is as follws then.
When the fuel gauge get low in the red, you ARE low in fuel
When the EVIC says 33 miles to empty, believe it and
When the "Bonger Bonger" gives it some big "Bong" to tell you that its tiem to fuel up NOW and the nearest open garage is 40 miles away it's tighten your sphincter time !!

And the moral of the story is :- Don't trust everything that appears in your manual

MTC


p.s. dear Rambit, where I stick my big black pump nozzle is no concern of yours. At the end of the day, an orifice, is an orifice, is an orifice.
 

·
Administrator
Joined
·
14,572 Posts
Murphy The Cat said:
p.s. dear Rambit, where I stick my big black pump nozzle is no concern of yours. At the end of the day, an orifice, is an orifice, is an orifice.
Whatever turns your crank Murph. I forgot to mention in the instructions for using the bong that it can be customized to suit your ears as well. You can set the tone by practicing a few times before you actually put it to use:

In step 5, just after you've smashed the bong into your right temple and yelled BONG, try it using different higher or lower octaves to obtain the sound you're looking for.

Additionally, I overlooked the fact you have a right hand drive steering wheel. In this case, reverse the procedure and use your left hand to smash into your left temple. The effect will be a more intensified BONG as you will not be hindered by the closeness of your side door glass. This truly is a universal device that can be adapted to all models.

For a change in BONG sound, you may also consider using the temple of any passenger instead, for an unlimited variety of sound effects. Please note, in this case you should offer the 2 Aspirin to your passenger. It's only right and could earn you respect.

Do you think there may be marketing potential in this product?

Rambit
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
1,013 Posts
Discussion Starter · #19 · (Edited)
Rambit said:
Whatever turns your crank Murph. I forgot to mention in the instructions for using the bong that it can be customized to suit your ears as well. You can set the tone by practicing a few times before you actually put it to use:

In step 5, just after you've smashed the bong into your right temple and yelled BONG, try it using different higher or lower octaves to obtain the sound you're looking for.

Additionally, I overlooked the fact you have a right hand drive steering wheel. In this case, reverse the procedure and use your left hand to smash into your left temple. The effect will be a more intensified BONG as you will not be hindered by the closeness of your side door glass. This truly is a universal device that can be adapted to all models.

For a change in BONG sound, you may also consider using the temple of any passenger instead, for an unlimited variety of sound effects. Please note, in this case you should offer the 2 Aspirin to your passenger. It's only right and could earn you respect.

Do you think there may be marketing potential in this product?

Rambit
Rambit, I think you're onto a winner.

I think that there is a huge marketing potential in your superb idea Rambit. Of course I am not sure how maby Sado Masochist clubs there are world wide, but if you marketed it at a very reasonable $1000 option (obviously £1000 in Britain) you'd be onto a winner. Then of course there is the "remote Start" option where you keep a tramp in your car overnight and give him an electric shock via your remote to wake him up and pre heat your car, with a satisfying "Bong crack " as instead of using a Aluminium can, he uses a 2 lt Bottle of super strength lager to get the aforementioed "Bong" noise.

MTC
 

·
Administrator
Joined
·
14,572 Posts
Murphy The Cat said:
Rambit, I think you're onto a winner.

I think that there is a huge marketing potential in your superb idea Rambit. Of course I am not sure how maby Sado Masochist clubs there are world wide, but if you marketed it at a very reasonable $1000 option (obviously £1000 in Britain) you'd be onto a winner. Then of course there is the "remote Start" option where you keep a tramp in your car overnight and give him an electric shock via your remote to wake him up and pre heat your car, with a stisfying "Bong crack " as instead of using a Aluminium can, he uses a 2 lt Bottle of super strength lager to get the aforementioed "Bong" noise.

MTC
I'm actually working on a new prototype. I'm calling it Model 9MM Super Bong. I've hit a few snags so far. Maybe you can offer some advice.

I've ran into several obsticles along the way. It doesn't seem to want to go BONG. The closest I can come up with is BANG. It's a very loud BANG that will get your attention quickly though. Close, but no cigar. Another problem is that it seems to only work once and has caused a great many accidents while testing according to volunteers. Test drivers are not lining up the way they used to either. The final problem is that ammunition to reset the device is getting hard to find in Canada.

Rambit
 
1 - 20 of 25 Posts
Top